Feeling betrayed

Last week I really kicked myself into action.  I rearranged furniture, I cleaned, I revised... I smiled!

I could see the start of the broken jigsaw of my life and heart starting to fit back together.

That was until yesterday - my sister is pregnant.

She's only 18; she wasn't wanting a baby; she is in a rocky relationship; and yet, here she is, in the exact position I want myself to be in.

There are details of this story that makes it even harder, but despite the amount of pain she has and is causing me, I still love my sister dearly and do not wish to divulge these.  But suffice to say, this is the worst thing she could do to me.

I know that she didn't go out to get pregnant on purpose.  Well, actually I'm not so sure, but that's another tale for another day.  But I feel an immense amount of betrayal.

I'm not sure how far along she is...I'm guessing about 6 weeks.

All I can think about is that I should be 11 weeks... I should be able to celebrate MY pregnancy.  I WANTED my babies.

Is it wrong to not want to see her?

Oh, and to ice this cake - endo pains have been crippling, and AF is here this morning.

Anything else to throw at me universe?