Dear Womanly Organs of Mine,
You have caused me YEARS of pain, please could you kindly tell me how I can make this stop? I have tried everything - I have been put through the menopause TWICE (and had to put up with all that this involves - WARNING LADIES, it is not pretty; hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings and weight gain), I have had a couple of laparoscopies, I have taken all concoctions of pain relief and anti-inflammatories (admittedly, some of these were not so bad) - but yet you insist on causing me nothing but discomfort at best, but mostly agonising pain.
Since finishing the Zoladex I have tried to ignore your niggling rumblings of what I know is there. I know that you are covered in endometrial tissue, and I know that you aren't supposed to be. But I have tried to help you. I promise, this journey has been harder on me than it has on you.
I know that the pain is probably out of your control, but I would really appreciate a couple of days off. A day where I could love my husband without tears of pain and sadness, a day where I can enjoy wrestling with my little boy without knowing that I am going to have to stop before I pass out... Please, just one day!
I am asking a lot of you - I understand that you have to make me suffer a little bit, I guess I must have done something that made the endo take hold as much as it has done. But please realise that you are not the only one affected - my bowel is now suffering, my stomach seems to be joining in the list, and they seem to think that it is moving upwards towards my lung cavity. I know that you probably don't care, but I really do. I can't take much more.
Perhaps there is a compromise here - I will not ask this of you again if you just hold onto any embryos that I offer you. I think that this is a small job for you, and I promise that I will live with whatever you throw at me in the future.
Your suffering servant
Me xx
I hear you. I am the same - IVF didn't work for me so the adoption route had to be done as my body went into proper menopause at 30 due to the ops on my ovaries for endo. I did also try a donor cycle with eggs, but my body just didn't cope with it all.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you. It's a rotten road. I remember it at its worst, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
I go through stages where I am really bitter - they can cure almost any disease, yet endo seems to either get little attention research-wise or is just unshiftable.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, sometimes its a very lonely experience :0(