Dear Sister

After being unable to find the words to say to my sister, I decided that I should send her a letter to hopefully explain why I have not been in touch.  It went something like this...

Dear S


I just wanted to let you know why I haven't been around lately.  I know that I should probably do this face-to-face, but right now I just can't and I hope by the end of this letter you realise why.


I know that you are having a bit of a tough time with M.  I desperately want to be there for you, but at the moment, I need to sort myself out before I can be strong enough to help you and others.


Please know I am really happy for you - as long as you are happy, that is all I need to know.  But at the moment, I am still caught up in my pain and heartbreak.  I struggle to live each day.  My grief has stolen my smiles and my ability to share happiness.  I can barely leave the house in case I stumble across another baby bump or newborn.  I live knowing what should have been, and so I am trying to avoid any reminders of that, until I am able to cope.


I just want you to know that I think about you lots.  I have always loved you, and will always do so.  I want you to be happy and as soon as I can I will be there for you as much as you need me.


I hope this explains how it is at the moment.  Please forgive me.


All my love


xxx


Let's just hope there is no bad fall out...  Only time will tell