Am I coming or going?

Well, again I have said I am going to keep up to date with my blog and monumentally FAILED!!!

Life has been pretty chaotic, mostly running around after LO, clearing up sick, worrying about him and between all of that, trying to get uni work done.  Does this ever end?

On the up side, I now have my appointment with Nurture in January.  All the pre-treatment tests and pre-treatment consultation booked...it's starting to feel so real.  I have even created an Excel spreadsheet that will plan out my treatment if it goes the same way as last time, so I can see when the 2WW is and making sure it doesn't clash with exams and stuff.  Sad?  Yes.  Helped me relax?  Most definitely.  Now I just need to find the money.  Thankfully my parents-in-law have come to the rescue.  They are so fantastic, in fact, I'm not sure how I'd cope without them every week, never mind in time of crisis like this.  I know I am lucky, and I struggle to make them realise how lucky I feel to have them in my life.  Hopefully one day they will see this and get a small idea.

On the down side, there is still no sign of AF.  I have all the pains, the hot flushes are getting less and less (oops, I shouldn't have said that because now I can feel the building of heat at the back of my neck!) but there is just nothing else!  Honestly, I have spent most of my life wishing that she wouldn't come, dreading the pain she brings with her every month.  And now, I need to know that the Zoladex hasn't ruined my life forever...please can you arrive pretty soon (well within the next 3 weeks before I see the hospital consultant for my referral for IVF/ICSI)

As a final thought, I am now official OLD - I reached the big 3-0 on Sunday.  I had a lovely day, I was showered with gifts from when I woke up and everyone made me feel like a princess.  I handled it much better than I thought.  I didn't spend the day thinking of the 'what ifs' and 'buts' of life.  I think that is why I had been so keen to get everything sorted with Nurture.  I wanted to start my 30s with the idea of being positive and being active in making my dreams possible.  I suppose that is why I spent a lot of the day doing uni work too, but that was because I have stupid deadlines for work, and I am way behind with it all.

Well, I now have to go and actually finish this assignment on whether mental illness is real or not...'Til next time - TTFN!!!